Pound your Food

pesto [pes-toh]
— n
[Italian, shortened form of pestato, past participle of pestare to pound, crush]

What's with the literary enlightenment you ask?
I'm setting the record straight on an Italian classic. The poster child of delicious, simple & fresh Italian cooking got thrown in a food processor when it stepped off the boat, packed with additives and preservatives and bottled for your convenience.

Pesto is a generic term. It usually refers to a basil-based mash, but can take on many variations of crushed deliciousness.

I needed to use up almost a full bunch of parsley and cilantro, so the basil sat this one out.

The soon-to-be-one ingredients started out as:
- a bunch of flat leaved parsley
- a bunch of cilantro
- about a half cup of pine nuts
- about a half cup of Grana Padano (a less expensive alternative to Parmeggiano Reggiano)
- Olive oil
- 4 cloves of garlic
- Cracked Pepper

You will need a mortar and a pestle (see the resemblance between pestle & another key word in this recipe?). They can come fairly cheap, and will be mighty handy once you realize how much better things are when crushed with your hand. I don't mean to knock on food processors, they are mad useful, but not everybody owns one. If you look up Martha Stewart's pesto, she surely uses one. But what are you going to mash your pretty little basil leaves with in the cell block Martha? Case. In. Point.

Back to the Pesto:
First chop the parsley and cilantro real fine. Set them aside, separately as you will want to play with quantities later to achieve optimal deliciousness. Chop the garlic too. Grate the cheese as fine as you can.

Then, mix the garlic and pine nuts and mash them together in your M&P. Start incorporating the cheese. Get it as close to a paste as you can. add a bit of oil and keep pounding until you have something that looks almost like chunky peanut butter.


Incorporate about a third of the cilantro and the parsley and a bit more oil. POUND, POUND, POUND. MASH, MASH, MASH. Keep incorporating the ingredients and tasting as you go. Add some ground pepper. I left out some parsley as I wanted to preserve that strong taste of the Cilantro.


This won't keep for 3 months like the commercial stuff, but you'll be lucky not to eat it up the night you make it. Throw it on some pasta, or freeze it in ice cube trays for future use or even put it in a cute-ass little jar and give it to your lady friend's mother for a sure way to get a fully paid wedding. "Isn't he such a nice young man" they'll say...

Big props to my wonderful lady friend on this one for keeping a tab on the perfect quantities and tasting along the way. "And mashing shit up" (Shannon Harvey)

-Dave, stay dedicated my friends

The long and the short of it

Everyone knows that short ribs are delicious. Usually its a large chunk of rib that you slowly braise in order to break down the cell structue and collagen, and increase the general amazingness. What's lovely about slow-cook meat like this is that if you slice em thin and cook em quick, you can achieve desireable levels of excellence without waiting four hours.

Welcome to miami (shortrib). This is a fairly common cut at good butchers. Essentially they take a cross section cut of the ribs about three bones long and 1/4 inch thick. It is best suited to a good four hour marinade, and a dirty hot grill.

I like flavour that pops, especially off the grill so i use a ton of garlic, some balsamic, soy sauce and maple syrup. I throw in enough of everything that it coats good but isnt soaked in liquid. I always let the soya sauce party so i dont need to add any salt later. Next i turn the grill up to high, or higher depending on the range of temps on your grill. Toss marinaded ribs in a splish splash of olive oil then thow them on the grill. Don't touch them for like 2 minutes so they get a wicked char. Flip and repeat.

The ensuing snack is so fucking good. A lot of folks will express dissent, they try to compensate with the long rib and slathers of ghetto sauce. Word on the street is that real men got nothing to prove, short ribs will do just fine.

One love

Danny

Victory Lap Ribs

Few can attest that their typical day in University involved coming home to a home cooked meal, which had been carefully crafted for a good part of the afternoon (people who lived with their parents don't count for this one, just as people who live with their parents' input generally isn't valid in life as a whole).

My roommate cringed at the thought having to boil ribs, a step that would reduce the cooking time, but invariably also reduce the delicious factor by an exponential amount.

Dedicated to the delicious as I have ever seen anybody, our dear roommate sought to never disappoint, and even went out of his way to stick around an extra year in order to do so.

And so he taught me this somewhat lengthy but incredibly simple technique of cooking ribs, the right way.

The recipe as I remember it tended to vary each time but essentially included some spices to dry rub the ribs, some liquid to ensure they don't get dry, and a fair quantity of your favorite commercial or homemade BBQ sauce. Not knowing what to do with all the herbs that resulted from my amazing gardening skills, I also chopped some of thems and added to the mix.

Listed below are my selected ingredients for the tasty dish:

3 Slabs of Back Ribs

A few table spoons of coffee grinds

Chili pepper flakes

Chocolate Mint (or regular mint), chopped real fine

A case of beer (1 for the food, the rest to be consumed during preparation)

BBQ Sauce

Salt & Pepper

The first step is rather critical, as it will ensure the "fall off the bone" effect that average steakhouses can't seem to achieve. Flip the ribs over, meat side down, and you will notice a skin or membrane-like layer. Make a few slits with your sharp ass knife so that you can get your fingers right in there and peel that sucker off.

Make yourself a little mix in a bowl with all the dry ingredients (Herbs, spices, coffee etc.). Apply lightly but firmly on the ribs, on both sides. Get your hands in there, be a man already and rub those ribs like you mean it!

Next, place them in a roasting pan, or anything deep enough to catch some juices. A cookie sheet will do worst case scenario. Pour in a little less than a full beer. I say a little less because you should get some of the love too. This is prime time for getting your evening started. If your instincts tell you to crack another and consume immediately, TRUST YOUR INSTINCT. This is precisely what Malcolm Gladwell was referring to in his bestseller "Blink". An experienced partyer, dear Malcolm would likely argue, knows precisely when the critical point is to commence a good night, versus a hesitant individual that would fear having consumed too much prior to guests arriving.

Cover the ribs with foil and put in the oven at a really low temperature, say 250.

From here, it's really up to you but the following worked rather well for me.

Cook for 2 hours. Bust them out. (they should look pretty much cooked through like the picture below) Lightly cover in BBQ sauce and cook for another 30 minutes.

Then remove them and generously cover in BBQ sauce. Add some smoky crispy deliciousness by putting on the Grill, low heat for 5-10 minutes each side. If you manage to get 3 racks on and off the grill without them falling apart, I applaud you good sir (madam).

As a side, I made a homegrown earth medley (potatoes, onions, leek, herbs) and I grilled some peaches and zucchinis, which were basted with the juices that the ribs released in their oven party. What carbon footprint I saved by eating local fruit and vegetables, I likely ingested by putting literally everything on the grill at one point.

To my dear roommate, this goes out to you. Can't wait to get to party again with you buddy.

Dan: This would be an opportune time to toss up your thoughts on Short Ribs and their superiority, along with some detailed instructions of course.

- Dave

Make Friends with your Baker

Word Dan on bringing out the baker in all those dedicated to the delicious. It's all about sustainability these days and while urban delicacies such as squirrel and pigeon can satisfy your needs, they are best suited for hungry lumbermen deep in the woods and crack bums from a neighborhood near you.

Back to the bread. Being a slave to the corporate world and all, I'm all about building strategic relationships. I like to leave some things to the pros, and focus on my strengths. Tempted to drop some econ. terms on you like comparative advantage, I'll sum it up to this: bakers do it best, and can offer me much of the pleasure of hand made dough without the sloppiness and white stains that often come with it...

Having a talk with a baker I visit regularly, he mentioned that he could make one big, freshly risen pizza dough, clear bag and all (see Dan's post on making bread) for the low low price of 2.50.

After some careful research, I decided to do two things that were foreign to me: Grill a pizza with fresh dough & incorporate raw eggs and letting them cook through right on the pizza. Being completely inept at laying out pizza dough, my creation looked straight up retarded. Fortunately the delicious factor more than made up for my less than optimal form on this one.

Here are the participants in this dish:
Pizza dough
Pizza sauce (canned does just fine)
An onion, cut up real fine with a sharp ass knife*
3 big ham slices
4 Huevos (Mexican for eggs)
Parmesan, cut into petals
Basil leaves

*No joke, read all the techniques about cutting an onion and not crying you want, the sharper your knife, the less you damage the onion and release all the delicious juices that are meant to stay inside, and most of all: the less you cry

For starters, the dough. Most of the work is done for you if you buy fresh dough, but you still have the opportunity to fuck this up, so listen up.
Let it get to room temperature if you are freshly busting it out of the fridge. Lay down some flour and work it to get it spread out. Tossing it in the air Italian style, I found out, is much harder than it looks on TV. So here's my advice. Hold it from the top with one hand, and slightly pull down with the other. Keep rotating the dough with both hands, stretching from the bottom. Think of a rapper cranking his wheel. For extra steez, mean mug a bit. Drive slow homie.



Before going any further, get your grill ready. One side real high, the other on low. As it's heating up, toss your onions and cook them down in butter and or oil to desired softness.

Make sure your grill is real clean and wipe some olive oil on the high side. Toss that doughy goodness right on there. In about a minute, you should have a slightly bubbly, golden on the bottom pizza dough. Pull it off.



Lay the dough down on a cutting board, COOKED SIDE UP. Mash your knuckle into the four key areas where you will eventually put the eggs, forming a slight divot to ensure less runniness. Toss on the sauce, ham and onions, in that specific order on top of the COOKED SIDE OF THE PIZZA. Don't make me tell you which side again.



Crack the eggs on there. The onions will absorb what the eggs release and from there, a match made in heaven. Lightly top with Parmesan and basil. Put in on the low heat side, as far away from high heat as possible and close the lid. The BBQ should know what to do from there. The eggs and dough should cook in roughly the same amount of time, less than ten minutes I'd say.

And there we have it. If all of Ottawa were to try this, I'd give Pizza Pizza one week before it's looking to refinance its loans and ignoring calls from creditors.

-Dave, Dedicated to Delicious

Some Really Really Good Pasta*

This post is solely dedicated to Ben Temple. Happy birthday Ben! I could have just named this post "Happy Birthday Ben!", but I didn't... Not because Ben isn't deserving of it, but just because I happened to name it something else first. For real though, it's Ben Temple's birthday today, and part of the reason I put an effort into this blog is because of Ben Temple. I used to live with Ben in university and I know first hand he enjoyed deliciousness. In fact, I had seen him try his hand at impressing his lovely lady friend with some of his home cooking skills, and later had heard her wishes for, "[him] to just be able to make some really really good pasta".

I agree. A very ambiguous request if I do say so myself. What is "some really really good pasta?" How does one go about defining this? Well, to each is his own, but after a hard day of consuming at a bar that is on a pirate ship, one might define it as the following, and I for Goddamn-sure know Anna just might agree with me on this one. So, Happy Birthday Benjamin Temple and I hope upon the William Thorton bar that you use this recipe in your favour at least twice, as it is that good. Aaaand it is so simple that you can do it after a hard afternoon of drinking, just as I successfully have. Not too sure if the pictures do any justice, but hopefully you get the jist of all this. Party on my friend and I hope you get what you deserve on this 23rd birthday of yours.

You will need:
- 3-4 Italian Sausage Links
- 2 Large Handfuls of your favourite mushrooms (button, mini bellos, shitaki, oyster, magic, portobello, whatever you like...)
- 2-3 cloves of Garlic (chopped up like)
- 3-4 Green Onions chopped into 1 inch sections
- Grainy Mustard
- Cream (half and half, whole, heavy, or whatever your heart can handle)
- Whole wheat Penne pasta (enough for 2-3 servings)
- Fresh basil leaves
- Delicious delicious

In my opinion, pasta should never be a very complicated thing to make. So, to start this off get your sausage in a frying pan or skillet, over medium high heat. I recommend removing the meaty sausage goodness from the casing by simply making a slit down the side of the sausage, with a sharp knife, and squeezing it right into the pan. Break it up with your spoon or spatula and get it moving around until it is just cooked. Remove the sausage and set aside.

While you play with your sausage, you should take your shrooms, and cut them in half for slicing ease. After cutting them in half, simply continue to slice them into thin pieces. Take your green onions and chop into one inch sections, discard the white bits though. At this point, you should chop your garlic cloves if you haven't done so already. Meanwhile, get a pot of salted water boiling for your pasta. Now, throw your mushrooms in the frying pan after you have removed the sausage and get them moving around. Once the shrooms start to soften, add your garlic and continue to toss around the pan: do not let the garlic burn! Now that the garlic is getting all fragrant and soft, toss the green onions in the pan. Continue to move these around until they are softening, as well. As the shrooms, garlic and onions get all sexy smelling, you should reintroduce the sausage back into the pan, as well as a good dollop or two of the grainy mustard. Turn the heat down to medium low as you stir everything around and start to add cream to the equation. You want to add cream to cover about half to three-quarters of the sausage/garlic/onion/shroom mixture. I won't give an exact measurement as you can eyeball this and make as much sauce as you like. Crack some black pepper over top, stir to combine with the mustard and cream and simmer until sauce begins to thicken.

Hopefully at this point your pasta water has already begun to boil. Add your desired measurement of pasta to the water and continue to boil until it is "al dente" (tender but has a bit of bite to it still), or until it is cooked to your liking. Drain the water from the pasta, but reserve a few small spoonfuls of the pasta water. Add the pasta, and the reserved pasta water into the cream sauce and mix around until everything is coated with sauce. Divide all the goodness amongst your serving vessel of choice (bowl or plate) and garnish with some chopped fresh basil leaves. I find this part to be crucial as it really livens up the whole dish with the greenness and fresh taste of the basil. There isn't a flavour in the world that gets me as excited as fresh basil. After the basil, grate some of that Parmesan cheese on top and give it a good sprinkle of some olive oil. Now you may serve and enjoy what has been coming to you since you put that garlic in the pan and didn't burn it! 

Atta boy. Happy Birthday.  

*This dish is so easy, it can even be made after a long day of partying on a pirate-ship bar. True story.

Bovine Nightmare

It's not very often that life affords us the oppurtunity for genuine introspection. The mirror of our triumphs, faults, dreams and expectations is seldom allowed its place within our psyche, nevermind our reality. On some occasions this very notion is not only met, it is satisfied. These unique moments of personal fulfilment are most definetly worthy of catalogue, and furthermore of celebration. This notion can be most certainly embodied in the theme of a barbecue I was recently so fortunate as to attend. The guest of honour was 100 lbs of the highest quality beef you can buy in our home and native land. For your viewing pleasure I present, a hip of wagyu.Any dissention related to purported mesures of "meat porn" shall not be met with disregard. This is beef in its essence. Never have I felt more in tune with my ancestral instincts then when I watched 20 human beings literally flock to the cook site of this bohemith meat monster mearly to gaze upon its (beauty?).

Tell me you don't at least discover fascination in this edible Rorschach and I'll prescribe you a souless fate. Love it or hate it, meat is fucking rad