Mac-n-Cheese With Steez

This past Sunday I found myself strolling through the Byward Market, simply captivated by all the fresh and local goodness the vendors had to offer. Mallory can attest to the fact that I seemed like a total space cadet as I was overwhelmed by the colours and quantity of the amazing produce that surrounded me. We picked up a bounty of fresh fruits and vegetables, and dipped into the market's cheesemonger to cop some quality dairy products. We ended up walking away with a nice hunk of canadian cheddar and some top quality cottage cheese with aspirations to make some bad ass, homestyle mac and cheese to warm us up after a day walking about in the cold Ottawa drizzle. 'Twas an excellent idea and this is how it went down.

Hustle up:

- 1 lb box of suitable pasta (choose a tubular pasta that will hold the creamy sauce well, like a penne, macaroni, or cavatappi. I used cavatappi, which is also called scoobi doo)

- 1/2 - Full stick of Butter

- 2 Garlic cloves, chopped

- 1 small onion, chopped super small

- 2/3 cup of all-purpose flour

- Can of delicious beer (or a case of further drinking)

- 4 cups (1 Litre) of milk

- One can (354mL) of unsweetened evaporated milk

- 1 lb of good quality medium aged cheddar cheese, shredded

- A couple tablespoonfuls of your favourite dijon mustard

- Tablespoon of paprika (if you can get or got some smoked paprika, give it a try)

- A few generous pinches of chili powder

- Tub of cottage cheese (find some that is pretty thick)

- Sea Salt and Black Pepper

- 1/2 loaf of some sort of delicious italian bread torn into small pieces, preferably from your local bakery

- Splash of Olive oil

Get the oven heating up to 350 degrees. While the cooking box does its thang, boil some salted water and get your pasta cooked to 'al dente', which means its tender, yet still has a bit of bite or density to it. You really don't wanna over cook the pasta as you're cooking it in the sauce later. Should be about 7-8 minutes in the boiling water.

Time to get saucy. In a large sauce pan, or the pot you boiled the pasta in, melt about 1/2 the stick of butter over medium/medium-low heat. Add the chopped onion, cooking until it starts to soften, smells delicious, and become translucent. Throw in the garlic, and continue to cook until everything starts to get a little bit golden. You may need to add a few hunks of butter as the onion will absorb some and you need the butter to make the 'roux'. Add the flour and stir the mix with a wooden spoon until a thick and smooth paste is formed. If it's too doughy add a few more hunks of butter and incorporate. This paste is the 'roux' and it is frequently used for making sauces, so it is good to become familiar with it. The roux is used for thickening sauces as it has flour in it and by combining the flour with butter, it can be evenly distributed throughout the sauce, and ultimately prevents nasty lumps. Continue to cook the roux for a few minutes so it gets all toasty like, thus developing more flavour. Slowly stir in a few big splashes of the beer until the mixture becomes smooth again.

Gradually stir in both milks, then switch your cooking weapon to a whisk, and start whisking that sauce until it is nice and smooth. Continue to whisk (if you have pansy wrists, switch with a friend) and whisk for several minutes until that sauce is pretty thick.

Now its really time to party. Stir in the cheese, dijon, paprika, chili powder, and a good dash of salt and cracked pepper. 

Add the cooked pasta into the cheesy sauce of goodness, and stir to get everything nice and sloppy. Pour the sauce/pasta party into a big ass casserole dish, something like 9"x13, or a couple smaller dishes, ooor if you're fancy enough to have a individual oven proof ramikans (fancy for bowls), you can use those, too.

Spoon nice dollops of cottage cheese all over the top of the noodle party and crack a little more black pepper over top. Proceed to toss the bread chunks with a splash or two of olive oil, and then spread it out over the pasta. 

Throw it in the cooking box and bake until it is heated through and the top is sexy and golden brown, approximately 30 minutes, but it really depends on the size of the dish used. 

When I cooked this up, I used a mix of a medium aged cheddar, and some extra old cheddar (both Canadian, yay local food!) for nice sharp cheese flavour. You can definitely mix it up with whatever type of cheese you want, and you can even throw in some meat like cooked sausage, ham, BACON!, ground beef, or mix in some small chunks of cauliflower, broccoli, or whatever veges you have on hand. Serve with a nice green salad, and get dedicated.

True Dedication

Not too sure where this commercial is from but I discovered it via my facebook news feed. This Panda is so dedicated to deliciousness that it makes me well up with tears. I don't understand how people don't like cheese. It makes so many things so much tastier. I have always said, you shouldn't trust a person who doesn't like cheese. I have yet to be proven wrong.

Definitely check out the link, as the video won't let me embed it into this post.

Get Sauced, Get Squashed and Win a Free Bowl

Thanks to J's post on the making of the perfect sauce, and how to get optimally sauced in the process, you're now slightly better versed in staple party starters.
College girls, carb seekers and Microwave dinner eaters will think you're the best shit since sliced bread, but you don't quite have all your bases covered.

Dieters, Celiacs & Hard-Core Foodies can join your fork-twirling celebration if you substitute the actual pasta.
One of fall's greatest contributions to our diet, especially in Canada, is the many varieties of squash.
The obvious choice here is Spaghetti Squash. It makes the dish healthier, easier and more delicious. The sweetness of the squash is enough to enjoy on its own. Coupled with a solid sauce, you're just a hop, skip and a stumble from flavour country.

Forage the following:
- Uncle Justin's Swanky Sauce
- A Spaghetti Squash (a small one will serve 2 hungry people, a large one will serve 4)

The squash will take about the same time to get its delicious on as the sauce, so pop it in the oven as you first start cooking down your tomatoes.

With your sharp ass knife (good luck without it) slice the squash in half lengthwise. Grab hold of your favorite scooping apparatus and scoop out the seeds and that membrane-like substance.
Drop it in the cooking box at 375 for 45 minutes, flesh facing up.

Tend to your sauce and to your guests in the meantime.

When it's all said and done, remove the squash, grab a fork and shred the squash out.




Toss it in a bowl/plate and apply J's sauce. If you're too broke-ass for a bowl, shred the squash right in its skin and toss the sauce in there (see: College).



Sit down, enjoy some cocktails and share a few laughs about how much everybody can't get enough of your sauce.

- D

What the F*** Is This?: The Do’s and Don’ts of returning Food

This little piece diverges from the traditional recipes we usually throw down. It is inspired by two things:

1. A real-life event. A meal that was subpar by a mile and a somewhat sticky situation in which I swallowed my pride and just ate the food.

2. A website that I have been following closely lately. http://artofmanliness.com/
The Art of manliness is entertaining to see the least. But it serves a greater, almost philanthropic cause, which is to educate men on how to be better men, for the greater good of society. The Art of Manliness lists several etiquette principles, some of which are related to the dinner table.

Learning how to eat well is a beautiful thing. The downside is that it opens your eyes to the extent to which the average North American has not yet realized this… The “Dedicated” individual finds him/herself subjected to a plethora of suddenly unsatisfying meals. So when is it right to push the plate away and raise a red flag to your waiter? And how do you do it politely? I have worked in the restaurant world and ate in my share of eateries. I’ve seen a fair share of both appropriate and inappropriate diners.

I was recently at a work function (I.e. The bill was taken care of for me) and had a terrible meal. I ordered Mushroom Risotto. I was served Orzo pasta in a mushroom sauce that may as well have come from Campbell’s. There are many things wrong with passing off Risotto as Pasta, none of which were bad enough to be a dick about it in front of my boss. I ate a fair portion, told the waiter it was ok (it really wasn’t. It was terrible) and mentioned that I would have preferred a more traditional Risotto. It inspired me to write the following list.

The following is a list of Do’s and Don’ts. It is by no means exhaustive so please add your own by commenting.

1. DON’T make a big deal of it when somebody else is paying, especially if they are eating the same thing and seem satisfied with it. If you are really unsatisfied, probe the bill payer a bit to see how they are feeling and assess whether you want to go there.

2. DON’T do it to get a free/cheaper meal. If you are that cheap, stay home on your plastic covered couch and watch the latest movie you downloaded for a good time.

3. DON’T get pissed at the waiter. He didn’t make your food. Even if he did or if he took the wrong order, your new dish won’t get made any quicker. A courteous customer is one that the restaurant will want to have back again. If anything, politeness will likely score you more food and drinks in the long run.

4. DON’T return food for not measuring up to your standards when it comes as a combo for 10.99.
If there is a hair in it, it’s fair game send back. But don’t return the zucchini fritters at your local diner for being too greasy. You will just seem like a pretentious tool.

5. DON’T return your food if you made the dish overly complicated via customization, you are part of a group and yours didn’t turn out just right. Restaurants have menus for a reason. The Chef likes to do it that way, and he does it best that way. He has a routine. If he has 20 plates to serve in 5 minutes and you throw him an unnecessary curve ball, be prepared to deal with the consequences.

6. DO seem casual and approachable about it. Kindly mention that you are happy to have the extra time to enjoy the beautiful company you are with and that you would love to do so over another round of drinks. See #3 for the causal relationship between courtesy and free shit.

7. DO ask your comrades how they like their meal. If you have stumbled upon an average joint, they are still likely to do a few things well. Hopefully somebody at your table hit the jackpot and will recommend you order that for a safe bet.

8. DO tip your waiter on the full amount of the bill, if items were sent your way on the house. If the restaurant made amends for the mistake, and you got yourself a delicious meal, the waiter likely worked hard to plead your case to whoever signed off on the free shit. Tip him well.

DO let us know if you are stoked on this post. If you are thinking: “why the hell are you telling me this? I read your blog for recipes. Don’t bore me with your etiquette shit. That’s why I subscribe to GQ”, then DO feel free to return it via commentary as well.

Always be polite (swearing is necessarily impolite)

- Dave

Cleaning Out The Kitchen

In my opinion, kitchen gadgets are pieces of shit that are targeted towards people looking for quick and easy ways to cut corners in the kitchen. For the most part, these kitchen gadgets take up a lot of precious counter and cupboard space, loose their novelty after three uses, and don't even work very well. So why the fuck do people buy them? Because they are marketed in such a way that they seem to make a "difficult" kitchen task into a quick and easy one. Well it's usually bullshit, with the exception of two gadgets that I will admit to owning. First being an ice cream maker (ice cream recipes to come), which has been used plenty of times and continues to be used and is made by a quality manufacturer of kitchenware, so it hardly classifies as a gadget and more of an appliance. The other gadget being a magic bullet, which serves its purpose as a small blender/ spice and herb grinder, but you will never catch me making something from that 10-second recipe book. Anyway, I'm straying from the point of this post. You can do anything in the kitchen much better than a shitty slap-chop or an over priced panini press can with tools you likely already have. Instead of paying for a slap-chop, invest in a good knife and a steel or sharpening stone and practice using them. Instead of dropping hard earned cash on a panini grill, buy a cast iron skillet and stop playing about.

Cast Iron is amazing for cooking with as it distributes heat evenly, retains heat well, creates a non-stick surface if seasoned correctly, and requires minimal care. In fact, you hardly have to wash it. No wonder people have been cooking with it before I care to think about. They're relatively cheap and even better if you can find a used one at a garage sale or second hand store. 

So, I'm running off on a tangent again, lets skip to the point already. Instead of using a panini press to make a delicious and melty sandwich, grab a heavy pan, like a cast iron one, and a stack of other frying pans, pots, or whatever has some weight and is close by. Paninis are simple things. You need some quality bread, a cheese that melts nicely and your selection of fillings. I managed to find some sliced smoked turkey, prosciutto, arugula, avocado, apples, goat cheese, provolone, and smoked gouda in my fridge. There were lots of other things in the fridge but I thought these would make for some interesting sammies. I placed the cheese right on the each piece of bread so it gets the most heat and melts fantastically. Place the rest in the middle, close the sandwich, and set it in that heavy pan you got heating up. Butter your bread on the outside if you feel it necessary. I chose not too as I had some pretty delectable ingredients that didn't need much improvement. When you got your sandwich in the pan, get a stack of other pans and just stack them on top of your sandwich. I used another skillet and a heavy kettle to press my sandwich. Let it cook for a minute, give it a peak make sure its browning and melting real nice. 

Flip that sammy when it looks nice, and continue to grill on the opposite side with the pans back on top. When that side is golden brown and your cheese is melted, remove from the pan, slice in half and serve with some sort of delicious dipping sauce, and vow to never waste time or money on a useless kitchen gadget while you revel in the enjoyment of eating the easiest panini ever.

Panini with Prusciutto, Smoked Turkey, Provolone, Goat cheese, Avocado and Arugula

Leaning Tower of Panini: (1st & 3rd layer) Provolone, Grilled Chicken, Goat Cheese, Arugula. (2nd & 4th layer) Smoked Gouda, Apple, Grilled Chicken, Goat Cheese.

Straight From The Pig's Mouth

A little ways back Dave had a post that was inspired by many of the rib feasts I cook up during our university daze in the Brick'Tangle. Well the local grocery store had baby back ribs on sale and I couldn't resist the meaty goodness. Amazing ribs are extremely easy and actually require minimal effort, a little bit of technique, and a huge amount of passion for deliciousness. This is a very adaptable guideline and you can get super creative with it, but my special rib formula is pretty spectacular if I do say so myself and definitely worth a try.

First order of business in making the best damn ribs you've ever eaten is to remove the membrane. The membrane is a thin, tough skin on the underside of the ribs. The membrane makes for shitty ribs in my opinion so it is best to remove it. To get this son-ofa-bitch off the meat, find a little unattached flap of the membrane near the wide end of the ribs, or make an little slice into the meat near a bone. Try to work the tip of your knife under it by running your knife back and forth in and pulling at the membrane. Once the skin starts to separate, gently yet firmly pull it away from the meat. The pictures below do a pretty good job of illustrating this. Using a paper towel for grip helps if your hands get slippery.

Once the membrane has been removed, it is time to season the meat. I use a dry rub with a variety of spices to build a sweet, savoury, and spicy flavour. These are approximate measurements and should make enough rub to cover both sides of two racks of ribs:

2 tbsp paprika
2 tbsp finely ground coffee
1 tbsp chili powder
1 tbsp dry mustard
1 tbsp garlic powder
1 tbsp onion powder
1 tbsp sea salt
1 tbsp fresh ground black pepper
1 tbsp brown sugar
1 tsp cumin
1 tsp ground coriander seed
1 tsp dried oregano
2 tsp chili flakes

Preheat your oven to 275 degrees. Yes, that low. Rub that spice mix all over both sides of the racks of ribs and place them in a pan that will accommodate the size of the meat. My racks were especially large and I had to cut them in half to fit into my pans, do the same if need be. I found that cutting them in half made the ribs much easier to handle and move about when they were cooked and super tender. You can be pretty resourceful when choosing a liquid to use for braising. Water would suffice, but thats pretty flavourless. I usually opt for some sort of beer, as it creates a fantastic flavour, especially when accompanied by said beer after the fact. I have also used cola, rootbeer, or Dr. Pepper in the past. This time around I used a mix of beer and cola, and it turned out phenomenally. Don't limit yourself to just beer and soda though, as you can literally use any liquid. For a more savoury flavour, use some wine, for a sweeter flavour, use some sort of fruit juice. Add enough liquid that it covers about a third of the meat. Cover the pan tightly with tin foil, and pop it in the oven for 4 hours. Don't even bother peaking, just let it do its thing and enjoy the aroma that will soon overwhelm you. Once the 4 hours is up, your ribs will be tender as fuck and will be in a very delicate state. Peel back the foil, and let them chill out for a bit. Drain the liquid or carefully transfer the ribs to a cutting board. Essentially your ribs are done now, but there is still another step to making these the best damn ribs ever. 

At this point, I like to let the ribs cool for a little while as it helps keep them from completely falling apart into a heavenly pile of meat. For best results, fire up the grill, but if you don't have a grill, just crank the broiler in the oven to high. These ribs will easily be delicious without any sauce, but frankly I like a sweet, spicy, and sticky crust on my finished ribs. I packed my ribs up and took them over to my friend Craig's place where we hit the grill, and he happened to have an amazing selection of BBQ sauces he picked up at the local ribfest, thus saving me time in making up my own. It is best to sauce up the bottom of the ribs and grill them facing upwards first, then carefully flip, sauce up the top side, and let the sauce begin to caramelize. Be attentive to the ribs and the heat as you don't want to char the sauce. By finishing the grilling process with the meaty top facing up, you have room to fit you tongs or flipper under the ribs when they are hot and reach a delicate, fall-off-the-bone state once again. You can do the same thing under the broiler as you can on the grill, just the grill adds that extra smokey, grilled flavour. 

Remove from grill, let them rest again for a few minutes, and then enjoy with beer and good friends. Goes well with coleslaw, potatoes of some sort (mashed, roasted, salad, etc), and maybe some baked beans if you got the time. 

Sorry pup, there won't be any meat left of these bones.

Feeling Indecisive?

This little website is rather comical, yet if you're feeling indecisive and just want someone to tell you what to make for dinner, it can be very useful. Check it out, good for a laugh and some decent meal ideas.

What The Fuck Should I Make For Dinner?

Get Sauced

As promised, I made a little magic in the kitchen last night with those fresh local tomatoes I previously posted about. The end of August and the beginning of September boasts the amazingness of tomato season. The tomato is a very versatile commodity and can be utilized in the kitchen in thousands of ways, but in an effort to keep things brief and concise, I will cut the shit and get straight to the point. This whole blog is based around the premise that delicious does not have to be complicated. In fact, it can be simple as fuck. This here recipe/guideline IS simple as fuck, and everyone should try it/remember this. It can be whipped up really quick, or can be simmered for hours. It is extremely versatile, and although very simple, it can also be very impressive. With the addition of whatever you might need to use up in your fridge, it can become a completely different beast. I speak of tomato sauce, marinara sauce, red sauce, gravy. Call it what you will, its fucking delicious and easy.

I started with a basket for fresh tomatoes, but you can easily substitute them with whole or diced canned tomatoes if you're in a rush/too lazy/it's no longer tomato season.

You will need:

- about a dozen fresh tomatoes (roma/plum or something that isn't too big and seedy)

- 1 onion chopped

- 3-4 garlic cloves chopped

- 1 shallot chopped (optional)

- red chili pepper flakes (optional)

- fresh basil leaves

- parmigiano-reggiano cheese (or something similar)

- olive oil

First, get some water boiling in a pot, and slice an X in the bottom of your tomatoes. Fill a bowl with cold water and ice and situate in close proximity to the pot of boiling water. Once that water is a boil, dunk about three tomatoes at a time in the hot water for 60 seconds, and transfer to the cold water for another 60 seconds using a slotted spoon. 

Once you have dunked all your tomatoes, you can pretty easily peel off all the skins. Using a sharp knife, cut out the stems of the tomatoes, those will make for bad texture in your sauce. Over a bowl, maybe the one you used for the cold water, give the tomatoes a good squeeze and try to get as much of the seeds to squirt out as possible. Don't stress about this too much, but it's a good thing to do. Roughly chop the tomatoes into chunks.

In a large enough sauce pan, heat a couple tablespoons of olive oil over medium heat. Add your onions and cook, stirring frequently until they start to turn translucent. Now add the shallots and garlic, and chili peppers if you please, and continue to cook until everything in your world begins to smell fucking amazing and the onions and garlic start to turn a golden hue. Go ahead, add your tomatoes now. Stir around, throw a lid on that bitch, and reduce heat and allow that shit to simmer for a while. 

You should stir this every few minutes and taste as you go. As your sauce simmers away, season with some sea salt and ground pepper, and you'll probably want to throw in a dash or two of sugar (just a bit, you're not making jam) to balance out the acidity of the tomatoes. I let my sauce simmer for about 30 minutes with the lid on, then about 10 minutes with the lid off. By cooking with the lid on, it keeps the natural liquids in the sauce and helps breakdown the big chunks of tomato. Then with the lid off, the sauce thickens up a little bit as the water evaporates. You could easily skip the lid and break down the tomatoes with an immersion blender if you're in a rush or a lazy fuck, but the sauce tastes better if you let that shit sim-sim-simmer.

As you rock the sauce with the lid off and it starts to thicken up, throw a pot of salted water on the stove, bring it to a boil and get some noodles cooking if this is how you intend to use your sauce. I cooked up some spaghetti, as I find the long, thin noodles the perfect vessel for this velvety, red sauce. As the noodles cook, grab some of that fresh basil, roll it up into a little basil blunt, and slice it. Also, grate the parmigiano cheese with a fine grater. Throw a bunch of the basil and cheese into the sauce and stir it around, but make sure to reserve a bit of each for garnishing.

Once your noodles are all cooked up, add a few tablespoons of noodle water to the sauce. Drain the noodles and divide amongst bowls or plates, sauce it up, garnish and serve.

Enjoy the deliciousness of simplicity. Sorry for cursing.

What The Falafel?

For those of you who do not know what falafel is, wikipedia will enlighten you:

Regardless of where it was created, and whatever country claims it to be their national snack, it can be concluded that falafel is internationally delicious and everyone should enjoy it. I've been trying to eat relatively healthy lately as I came back from the islands with a few extra pounds, but frankly, dieting is bullshit and I can't deal with eating like a bird. Birds can't be trusted, unless they're roasted and on a plate. So in the effort of healthy yet satisfying eating, I whipped up some falafel last night, but I baked them as opposed to frying them. I served them up with some homemade tzatziki (not very traditional, but delicious) and some tahini-based sauce, on top of a salad with some whole-wheat pita on the side. Despite the air of complexity that this dish gives off, it's pretty simple and has a lot of room to get creative. I highly recommend giving this recipe a try, but do not recommend it for a first to third date. Lots of garlic.

You will need for Falafel:
1 can of chick peas
1 small onion diced up small
3 garlic cloves chopped up real small
3 tablespoons fresh parsley, chopped
1 tablespoon fresh cilantro, chopped
1 teaspoon lemon juice
1 teaspoon olive oil
1 teaspoon coriander
1 teaspoon cumin
1/2 teaspoon lemon zest
Dried red pepper flakes to your liking
2 tablespoons flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
Salt and pepper to taste


These are approximate measurements, taste as you go.


You will need for Tzatziki:
Greek-style yogurt (thicker than regular yogurt)
2 garlic cloves chopped real fine
Handful of cucumber, finely diced or grated


You will need for Tahini based sauce:
Tahini paste
Water
Lemon Juice
1 garlic clove chopped real fine
Fresh parsley, chopped

To get this party started preheat your oven to 375, then drain and rinse the chick peas, throw them in a medium sized mixing bowl, and smash them up real good with a fork, or preferably a potato masher. If you possess the technology you could use a food processor, but do you think they had those in the desert? I think not. Once the chick peas are sufficiently mashed up (!) throw everything else in the bowl and continue to mash about until everything is evenly mixed. Wipe a baking sheet with some olive oil or use some cooking spray to get it nice and greased, then using a spoon, scoop out balls of the mixture, compress into tighter balls with your hand and the spoon, then arrange on the baking sheet. Once you have used all the mix, pop the tray in the oven, bake for 15 minutes, flip when they're a nice golden brown, and bake for another 10 minutes. 

While the falafel gets baked, you should consider it yourself. Also, take the time to whip the accompanying sauces up. Super simple and quick to do. In bowl, mix together the greek-style yogurt, chopped garlic, and cucumber, season with a bit of salt and pepper. Tzatziki sauce done. The let this mellow in the fridge for a bit and the flavours will really come out. For the other tahini-based sauce, mix equal parts tahini paste and water, add a little lemon juice, the chopped garlic and parsley, and some olive oil if its too thick still. Season with salt and pep, and you're done. Super simple and both are super flavourful.

Once you and your falafel are sufficiently baked and golden brown, and you're all sauced up, you now must decide how to serve them. Frequently falafel is stuffed in a pita with lettuce, cucumber, tomato, pickled vegetables, etc. I served mine on a bed of arugula with the accompanying toppings and some pita on the side. Goes well with a traditional hooka session, too.

Enjoy.

Home Grown

After reading Dave's post about the deliciousness he served up using local peaches (and delicious it was, I got a jar of that chutney), I was fiending to get some close-to-home grown produce. After living on an island with minimal farms for a year, the idea of eating locally usually meant getting a beef patty at Crandall's. Being back in the motherland, I am even more excited about all the freshness our local soil will be generating this harvest season. I picked up a real nice basket of local tomatoes, a bunch of leeks and a bag of beets that I'm really looking forward to getting delicious with. Yes, beets, those dirty yet vibrantly coloured morsels that turn your pee red and are frequently found in the pickled form. Check back soon for the culinary chaos that will ensue.

Hustling Ginger-Peach Chutney

I was reading one of those self help business books and the lesson in a given chapter was to emulate drug dealers. It wasn't suggesting you act all shady or make house calls, but rather that businesses should create something that can be given away in small amounts, only to attract a group of addicts (see: loyal customers) that would come running on a regular basis for a good dose of that ish.

A good drug dealer can probably also teach us a lesson or two in inventory management. A further parallel I would like to explore is that of the fruit farmer and the cook (the latter referring to myself - selling drugs would scare the crap out of me). Dealers, farmers and cooks often find themselves with ample supply at certain periods, and a drought in others.

So go to the market immediately, chat a farmer up, GIVE HIM MAD PROPS for hustling hard enough to get you a delicious basket of peaches (or any other fruit still in season) on the cheap and be on your way to eating sustainably flavourful food through the drought/cold ass winter.

Preserving is a wonderful thing. Last weekend I made a chutney.
Chutney is similar to jam, but it's a bit more of a free-for-all, it uses less sugar and instead incorporates vinegar. Chutney goes on MEAT and FISH and other manly dishes to which you aren't shy to complement with a soft word like chutney.

All my pictures involve the dish I made 2 days later incorporating the chutney, but the tale of chutney making is much more worthy and it goes like this:

Gather:
4 pounds of peaches
1 cup of brown sugar
1 cup of cider vinegar
3 tablespoons of finely chopped ginger
1 Onion, diced pretty fine

First, peel them peaches. Clearly the most painful part of the process, but skip this step and be doomed to sifting through pieces of skin all winter. To get the skin off easily, slit an X in the bottom, dunk them in boiling water for 60 seconds, and then in ice cold water. The skin should come right off.

Core and cut the peaches into some small pieces. They are probably piping hot right now so the multi-tasker in you would be wise to toss the onion, ginger and a bit of the vinegar in a pot in the meantime, at medium heat.

When the onion is cooked down a bit, toss the peaches, brown sugar and the rest of the vinegar in there. Cover and cook for about 15 minutes. Taste it. What does it need? Let the dedication inside you guide your instinct to play with quantities if needed.

Uncover and cook for another 10 minutes to let it thicken a bit.

Let it cool, jar it and give samples to your friends. They'll be offering weird favors in exchange for more. This is your chance to live a bountiful winter my friend!



I added it to a pork tenderloin that was lightly seasoned and grilled. Ate some potatoes on the side with some fresh herbs.

-Dave

Don't beat your meat

Burgers are one of those categories of foods that have entire websites dedicated to their deliciousness, and many arguments have been made over the different ways and best techniques for making burgers. I don't want to stray into this debate just yet, as I can truly appreciate any burger. After 10 months of being on an island free of a fast food chain, I was fiending for a McDonald's cheeseburger. The thin salty patty, the simple arrangement of dressing, and the melty melty cheese has addictive qualities. Yet a thick, juicy, beefy home-grilled patty is amazing and satisfying in a whole different way. I could wax the poetic all day about all the different varieties of delicious that burgers come in, but thus I digress.

The other night, a man-dinner was in order, and to keep things relatively simple Dave and I decided on grilling up some thick beefy burgers, adorned with some flavourful toppings. My philosophy on burgers of the grilling variety is to keep them simple, and let the fiery-beefy flavour shine through. What I mean by this is, don't fuck with the meat. No breadcrumbs, no eggs, no onions, no garlic, no fillers of any sort. Some might disagree, but I want to let the natural beef deliciousness and the accompanying toppings do the talking. This particular night, Dave and I had some ripe avocado, a sexy pound of thick-sliced maple smoked bacon, white onion, aged cheddar, and some leftover chopped tomato that needed some love. Perfect.

First and foremost, I'll start with making the beef patties. We used lean ground beef, but really use whatever you prefer. I personally like medium ground chuck in burgers because more fat equals more deliciousness, but I've obtained a bit of extra marbling from all the cheap Heineken and fried johnny cakes I consumed in the BVI, so I was cutting corners.

Now you really want to be gentle as possible; caress your meat. Form the meat into loose balls, and gently flatten. Make sure to press a dimple into the middle, as it prevents the burger-ball effect. Don't worry about forming them into perfect shaped, smooth patties. More texture equals more flavour, less beating equals more juiciness. Crack a respectable amount of black pepper over these bad boys and throw them in the fridge if you make them ahead of time, or let them rest up to room temp, we'll get back to these in a bit.

This next little part is very versatile and very delicious. Place the bacon in a large, cold skillet, and start the frying at medium heat. Once getting the bacon to desired deliciousness, drain some of the drippings but reserve a significant amount in the pan and tossed in a large white onion, sliced thinly. Keep the onions cooking over medium to medium-low heat, moving around occasionally. The onions should start to become soft, brown, and smell ridiculously amazing. To caramelize the onions, you need to pay some good attention to them, making sure the heat isn't too high, and be patient. The longer and slower you cook these, the more delicious they get.

Meanwhile, as your onions are coming into their final stages of caramelization, rock your grill up to high heat. When it's piping hot, give your burgers a quick sprinkle of sea salt, and throw them on the grill. Adjust your heat down to medium. The hot grill sears the meat and helps form distinctive grill marks and a delicious outer crust. Be very attentive, you want to on top of putting out flare ups, BUT DO NOT BEAT YOUR MEAT. You may be tempted to move your burger around, squish it, flip it prematurely, but just don't. Get a beer, drink it, and just let it cook for 5 minutes. When the burger releases itself from the grill with little effort, it's ready to flip. Gently flip it, and drink your beer. This side should grill a bit quicker, so have your sliced cheese of choice standing by, and your buns if you like them toasted, which I do.

Before your burgers are done, throw the cheese on top and get it all melted like. Remove your burgers to a plate, and toast your buns. By doing this, you're forced to let your burgers rest up. Like any meat, you should rest burgers for 5 minutes after cooking to let the juices redistribute. 

We dressed these babies up with the caramelized onions, bacon, and avocado, chopped tomato, and a little grainy mustard, but burgers are one of those vessels you can really get creative with. Caramelized onions and bacon are pretty hard to fuck with though. Before the summer truly disappears, definitely try these out. And if you can come up with a flavour combination that rivals caramelized onions, bacon, cheddar and avo, we'd love to hear about it.

Eat up. Party down.