Give It to me Like you Mean It

A Primer on Presentation.



A very positive externality of this blog has been its ability to amp my creative juices.
It became a motivation to add the missing tools to my kitchen, and add some professionalism to the tasty displays.

Then J, with his "gadgets ain't shit" thinking, gave me a hint of inspiration. He helped me realize that purchasing excessive equipment would achieve a result that expressly fails to align with what this blog stands for.

The following recipe made use of the bounty of mother nature's bosom, in all of her autumn glory (referred to hereafter as MN). I cooked it up and served it in the most beautiful, simplistic way I could, as a token of my appreciation for the hook up on great eats, on the daily. Word up MN.

Proper food presentation can likely be achieved with other shit you have in your kitchen. Creative displays in disguise, items in your cabinets can have many alternate uses.
Did you pass seventh grade geometry?
What about eighth grade art class?

If your answer is yes, read on. You have the necessary tools to be a presentation master. If not, you likely fit into one of two categories:

1. You are either way too young to be reading this and should refer to Bill Nye for better education than I can offer.
   
2. Mom & dad fucked up. Go back to school. Again, my words of wisdom are a lost cause. Go back to school now before you resort to selling your computer for drug money.
   

MN's fall selection for this crash-course on presentation was:

- Yellow Beets, a couple handfuls worth (yellow in this case, cause they're sweeter and more delicious in my opinion)
- Half a Turnip
- A Yellow Onion
- 2 Apples
- Some sort of greens (I used baby spinach)
- A few sprigs of fresh Dill
- Garlic, S&P, Olive Oil (obviously)
- A Pork Tenderloin, or whatever meat you want, served how you want it. (this isn't a pork tenderloin recipe so I won't go into further detail)



Fall, more than any other season, highlights the need for a sharp ass knife in your repertoire of tools. This is no gadget. It is the single most useful tool in your kitchen, especially when MN is throwing root vegetables at you.

Furthermore, get a roasting pan. Real men don't just BBQ, they roast too. While the average man freezes outside in January, turning his steak on the BBQ, you'll be laughing it up inside, convivially charming your guests, cold drink in hand.


Peel the beets, and dice them into small chunks (1/2 cm wide about). Dice the onion and turnip the same way. Mince a few cloves of garlic and toss it in. Garnish with olive oil. Add some S&P. Now we're talking. Toss it all in your roasting pan. Introduce the roasting pan to the cooking box and let them mingle for 40 minutes, at 350. You want the beats to stay slightly crispy.

Now mingle with your guests. They are the reason you are doing this presentation shit after all (no offense MN).

As you remove the goodies from the oven, dice up some lovely red apples, skin on, about the same size as your veggies. Don't dice them earlier or they will turn brown, and your colour matching is out the window.

Now you want to make a nice stack that will highlight the colours that will come to life on your plate. I used a tea mug but any item that catches your eye may do. The laws of physics apply here so choose your weapon wisely. Sure a champagne flute is dope in theory. I won't go into the details of why it won't work...

Lay the diced apples in your mug. Fill it about half way.
On the side, toss the greens in olive oil. Also, toss some fresh dill into the veggies. Lay the greens on top of your apples in the shaping vessel of choice. This will give you a dope colour separation effect. Top it up with the freshly roasted mix of deliciousness. Flip the mug onto your plate and remove it, leaving the veggies in a wonderful stack.



Get creative with how you plate your meat too. Toss some parsley around. Serve the plate hot, and have your meat facing your guests, as in life.

-Dave