Straight From The Pig's Mouth

A little ways back Dave had a post that was inspired by many of the rib feasts I cook up during our university daze in the Brick'Tangle. Well the local grocery store had baby back ribs on sale and I couldn't resist the meaty goodness. Amazing ribs are extremely easy and actually require minimal effort, a little bit of technique, and a huge amount of passion for deliciousness. This is a very adaptable guideline and you can get super creative with it, but my special rib formula is pretty spectacular if I do say so myself and definitely worth a try.

First order of business in making the best damn ribs you've ever eaten is to remove the membrane. The membrane is a thin, tough skin on the underside of the ribs. The membrane makes for shitty ribs in my opinion so it is best to remove it. To get this son-ofa-bitch off the meat, find a little unattached flap of the membrane near the wide end of the ribs, or make an little slice into the meat near a bone. Try to work the tip of your knife under it by running your knife back and forth in and pulling at the membrane. Once the skin starts to separate, gently yet firmly pull it away from the meat. The pictures below do a pretty good job of illustrating this. Using a paper towel for grip helps if your hands get slippery.

Once the membrane has been removed, it is time to season the meat. I use a dry rub with a variety of spices to build a sweet, savoury, and spicy flavour. These are approximate measurements and should make enough rub to cover both sides of two racks of ribs:

2 tbsp paprika
2 tbsp finely ground coffee
1 tbsp chili powder
1 tbsp dry mustard
1 tbsp garlic powder
1 tbsp onion powder
1 tbsp sea salt
1 tbsp fresh ground black pepper
1 tbsp brown sugar
1 tsp cumin
1 tsp ground coriander seed
1 tsp dried oregano
2 tsp chili flakes

Preheat your oven to 275 degrees. Yes, that low. Rub that spice mix all over both sides of the racks of ribs and place them in a pan that will accommodate the size of the meat. My racks were especially large and I had to cut them in half to fit into my pans, do the same if need be. I found that cutting them in half made the ribs much easier to handle and move about when they were cooked and super tender. You can be pretty resourceful when choosing a liquid to use for braising. Water would suffice, but thats pretty flavourless. I usually opt for some sort of beer, as it creates a fantastic flavour, especially when accompanied by said beer after the fact. I have also used cola, rootbeer, or Dr. Pepper in the past. This time around I used a mix of beer and cola, and it turned out phenomenally. Don't limit yourself to just beer and soda though, as you can literally use any liquid. For a more savoury flavour, use some wine, for a sweeter flavour, use some sort of fruit juice. Add enough liquid that it covers about a third of the meat. Cover the pan tightly with tin foil, and pop it in the oven for 4 hours. Don't even bother peaking, just let it do its thing and enjoy the aroma that will soon overwhelm you. Once the 4 hours is up, your ribs will be tender as fuck and will be in a very delicate state. Peel back the foil, and let them chill out for a bit. Drain the liquid or carefully transfer the ribs to a cutting board. Essentially your ribs are done now, but there is still another step to making these the best damn ribs ever. 

At this point, I like to let the ribs cool for a little while as it helps keep them from completely falling apart into a heavenly pile of meat. For best results, fire up the grill, but if you don't have a grill, just crank the broiler in the oven to high. These ribs will easily be delicious without any sauce, but frankly I like a sweet, spicy, and sticky crust on my finished ribs. I packed my ribs up and took them over to my friend Craig's place where we hit the grill, and he happened to have an amazing selection of BBQ sauces he picked up at the local ribfest, thus saving me time in making up my own. It is best to sauce up the bottom of the ribs and grill them facing upwards first, then carefully flip, sauce up the top side, and let the sauce begin to caramelize. Be attentive to the ribs and the heat as you don't want to char the sauce. By finishing the grilling process with the meaty top facing up, you have room to fit you tongs or flipper under the ribs when they are hot and reach a delicate, fall-off-the-bone state once again. You can do the same thing under the broiler as you can on the grill, just the grill adds that extra smokey, grilled flavour. 

Remove from grill, let them rest again for a few minutes, and then enjoy with beer and good friends. Goes well with coleslaw, potatoes of some sort (mashed, roasted, salad, etc), and maybe some baked beans if you got the time. 

Sorry pup, there won't be any meat left of these bones.

Victory Lap Ribs

Few can attest that their typical day in University involved coming home to a home cooked meal, which had been carefully crafted for a good part of the afternoon (people who lived with their parents don't count for this one, just as people who live with their parents' input generally isn't valid in life as a whole).

My roommate cringed at the thought having to boil ribs, a step that would reduce the cooking time, but invariably also reduce the delicious factor by an exponential amount.

Dedicated to the delicious as I have ever seen anybody, our dear roommate sought to never disappoint, and even went out of his way to stick around an extra year in order to do so.

And so he taught me this somewhat lengthy but incredibly simple technique of cooking ribs, the right way.

The recipe as I remember it tended to vary each time but essentially included some spices to dry rub the ribs, some liquid to ensure they don't get dry, and a fair quantity of your favorite commercial or homemade BBQ sauce. Not knowing what to do with all the herbs that resulted from my amazing gardening skills, I also chopped some of thems and added to the mix.

Listed below are my selected ingredients for the tasty dish:

3 Slabs of Back Ribs

A few table spoons of coffee grinds

Chili pepper flakes

Chocolate Mint (or regular mint), chopped real fine

A case of beer (1 for the food, the rest to be consumed during preparation)

BBQ Sauce

Salt & Pepper

The first step is rather critical, as it will ensure the "fall off the bone" effect that average steakhouses can't seem to achieve. Flip the ribs over, meat side down, and you will notice a skin or membrane-like layer. Make a few slits with your sharp ass knife so that you can get your fingers right in there and peel that sucker off.

Make yourself a little mix in a bowl with all the dry ingredients (Herbs, spices, coffee etc.). Apply lightly but firmly on the ribs, on both sides. Get your hands in there, be a man already and rub those ribs like you mean it!

Next, place them in a roasting pan, or anything deep enough to catch some juices. A cookie sheet will do worst case scenario. Pour in a little less than a full beer. I say a little less because you should get some of the love too. This is prime time for getting your evening started. If your instincts tell you to crack another and consume immediately, TRUST YOUR INSTINCT. This is precisely what Malcolm Gladwell was referring to in his bestseller "Blink". An experienced partyer, dear Malcolm would likely argue, knows precisely when the critical point is to commence a good night, versus a hesitant individual that would fear having consumed too much prior to guests arriving.

Cover the ribs with foil and put in the oven at a really low temperature, say 250.

From here, it's really up to you but the following worked rather well for me.

Cook for 2 hours. Bust them out. (they should look pretty much cooked through like the picture below) Lightly cover in BBQ sauce and cook for another 30 minutes.

Then remove them and generously cover in BBQ sauce. Add some smoky crispy deliciousness by putting on the Grill, low heat for 5-10 minutes each side. If you manage to get 3 racks on and off the grill without them falling apart, I applaud you good sir (madam).

As a side, I made a homegrown earth medley (potatoes, onions, leek, herbs) and I grilled some peaches and zucchinis, which were basted with the juices that the ribs released in their oven party. What carbon footprint I saved by eating local fruit and vegetables, I likely ingested by putting literally everything on the grill at one point.

To my dear roommate, this goes out to you. Can't wait to get to party again with you buddy.

Dan: This would be an opportune time to toss up your thoughts on Short Ribs and their superiority, along with some detailed instructions of course.

- Dave