Don't beat your meat

Burgers are one of those categories of foods that have entire websites dedicated to their deliciousness, and many arguments have been made over the different ways and best techniques for making burgers. I don't want to stray into this debate just yet, as I can truly appreciate any burger. After 10 months of being on an island free of a fast food chain, I was fiending for a McDonald's cheeseburger. The thin salty patty, the simple arrangement of dressing, and the melty melty cheese has addictive qualities. Yet a thick, juicy, beefy home-grilled patty is amazing and satisfying in a whole different way. I could wax the poetic all day about all the different varieties of delicious that burgers come in, but thus I digress.

The other night, a man-dinner was in order, and to keep things relatively simple Dave and I decided on grilling up some thick beefy burgers, adorned with some flavourful toppings. My philosophy on burgers of the grilling variety is to keep them simple, and let the fiery-beefy flavour shine through. What I mean by this is, don't fuck with the meat. No breadcrumbs, no eggs, no onions, no garlic, no fillers of any sort. Some might disagree, but I want to let the natural beef deliciousness and the accompanying toppings do the talking. This particular night, Dave and I had some ripe avocado, a sexy pound of thick-sliced maple smoked bacon, white onion, aged cheddar, and some leftover chopped tomato that needed some love. Perfect.

First and foremost, I'll start with making the beef patties. We used lean ground beef, but really use whatever you prefer. I personally like medium ground chuck in burgers because more fat equals more deliciousness, but I've obtained a bit of extra marbling from all the cheap Heineken and fried johnny cakes I consumed in the BVI, so I was cutting corners.

Now you really want to be gentle as possible; caress your meat. Form the meat into loose balls, and gently flatten. Make sure to press a dimple into the middle, as it prevents the burger-ball effect. Don't worry about forming them into perfect shaped, smooth patties. More texture equals more flavour, less beating equals more juiciness. Crack a respectable amount of black pepper over these bad boys and throw them in the fridge if you make them ahead of time, or let them rest up to room temp, we'll get back to these in a bit.

This next little part is very versatile and very delicious. Place the bacon in a large, cold skillet, and start the frying at medium heat. Once getting the bacon to desired deliciousness, drain some of the drippings but reserve a significant amount in the pan and tossed in a large white onion, sliced thinly. Keep the onions cooking over medium to medium-low heat, moving around occasionally. The onions should start to become soft, brown, and smell ridiculously amazing. To caramelize the onions, you need to pay some good attention to them, making sure the heat isn't too high, and be patient. The longer and slower you cook these, the more delicious they get.

Meanwhile, as your onions are coming into their final stages of caramelization, rock your grill up to high heat. When it's piping hot, give your burgers a quick sprinkle of sea salt, and throw them on the grill. Adjust your heat down to medium. The hot grill sears the meat and helps form distinctive grill marks and a delicious outer crust. Be very attentive, you want to on top of putting out flare ups, BUT DO NOT BEAT YOUR MEAT. You may be tempted to move your burger around, squish it, flip it prematurely, but just don't. Get a beer, drink it, and just let it cook for 5 minutes. When the burger releases itself from the grill with little effort, it's ready to flip. Gently flip it, and drink your beer. This side should grill a bit quicker, so have your sliced cheese of choice standing by, and your buns if you like them toasted, which I do.

Before your burgers are done, throw the cheese on top and get it all melted like. Remove your burgers to a plate, and toast your buns. By doing this, you're forced to let your burgers rest up. Like any meat, you should rest burgers for 5 minutes after cooking to let the juices redistribute. 

We dressed these babies up with the caramelized onions, bacon, and avocado, chopped tomato, and a little grainy mustard, but burgers are one of those vessels you can really get creative with. Caramelized onions and bacon are pretty hard to fuck with though. Before the summer truly disappears, definitely try these out. And if you can come up with a flavour combination that rivals caramelized onions, bacon, cheddar and avo, we'd love to hear about it.

Eat up. Party down.